All I Want For Christmas

Apparently, people think I’m hard to shop for. I’ll admit that it’s hard for me to tell people what I want for Christmas and my birthday. Most of the time I don’t need anything, so therefore, figuring out what I want is always a struggle. For whatever reason, when asked the magic question, it’s hard for me to remember that two months back I thought it would be nice to have a certain CD, or book, sweater or pair of shoes.

Because Trout and I were friends for a little over a year before we started dating (and had known Abbey for almost as long), he already heard about this gift-buying challenge before we were even a couple. To help him out in this arena, he introduced me to the world of Amazon.com wishlists. I have no problem adding little random items whenever I remember it would be nice to own something; it's actually kind of fun. Most things on the list are little: CDs, books, DVDs. Until a week or so ago, there were very few big ticket items (who wouldn’t want a Bose system to go with their 40 GB Ipod?). I’ve since removed the unrealistic items hopefully to ease any shopper stress. I’m a very simple person, it will take very little to make me very happy.

This year, also thanks to Trout, I made a Christmas wishlist for the first time since I addressed them directly to Santa Claus. This caused a little bit more stress than I expected, but I made it through and got the list sent out to the appropriate parties. As a side note, whoever in my family drew my name in our annual Christmas Present Draw, let Trout know if you would like to see the list, he has a copy of it.

If I really am hard to shop for, then, according to ads on television and radio, I am a rarity because women are actually very easy to shop for. It appears that all women want is jewelry. If it’s sparkly or shiny, the females of the world can think of nothing else they want for Christmas, and for that matter, Valentine’s Day, their birthdays and anniversaries. Now don’t get me wrong, I like looking at jewelry as much as the next girl. If given any sort of jewelry for whatever reason, I will most certainly not reject it. I’ll wear it very happily.

There is nothing wrong with getting jewelry on any occasion, but the extent advertisers go to during the holidays to convey how much women want the bling is a little outrageous. So far, my favorite ad goes something like this:

Voice Over Guy: When a women says…

Woman: Honey, I don’t want anything for Christmas.

Voice Over Guy: What she really means is…

Woman: (in a sultry-esque tone) I want diamonds.

Until I heard that one the radio earlier this week, I was always slightly amused and a little dismayed with this theme:

Pondering Husband: I got my wife diamond earrings for Christmas last year, I want to surprise her, what you do suggest I get her this year?

Jewelry Store Owner: Why don’t you surprise her with a beautiful diamond pendant or necklace!

Because clearly surprising her with something besides diamonds would be unacceptable.

The ads are so frequent and becoming more and more ridiculous, I almost want to stop watching TV and listening to the radio until after Christmas. I remember feeling this way last year as well. Advertisers are making women out to be bling obsessed harpies. We couldn’t possibly be content without jewelry; if we can’t get diamonds, we’ll settle for pearls or maybe a mix of diamonds and other precious stones. See? We’re very easy to shop for, after all!

To take a stand against such atrocities, you will not find anything resembling jewelry on my Christmas list or wishlist this year. If you feel so inspired to buy me something sparkly or shiny, by all means, knock yourself out. Just know that, when I open up gifts on Christmas and any other occasion, and I see a CD, board game or cookbook, I’ll be just as happy.