Because a Sawed-Off Shotgun is Kind of Illegal

It has been brought to my attention over the last couple of days that numerous people who are very near and dear to my heart are worried about me living alone in Denver.

Rest (a little more) assured, the pepper spray has been ordered and it's in the mail. In 3-5 business days I will have a keychain that has the capability of temporarily blinding someone. That's much more effective against potentially threatening folk than the goldfish that currently adorns my keys.